Thursday, April 22, 2010


While I have always viewed Suzanne Yoculan as a sort of supreme cult leader-type gymnastics coach, I never actually pictured this Jim Jones of gymnastics as actually insane.   I've always appreciated her ability to delude herself and her girls so greatly that whatever she said became an actuality.  But, Catty Comments at Aunt Joyce just reported that Yoculan told media that while UCLA has the most talent, Florida will win Nationals.

  How, Suzanne, does this work? 

UCLA clearly had a shaky, nerve-ridden prelims, but despite that, they won their subdivision and lead the entire preliminary competition.  Florida didn't even win their subdivision.  How is it that Florida will win? 

Don't get me wrong, if UCLA don't take the crown, I am behind Florida all the way.  Me like those Gators.
But here's the thing, aside from the fact that I would never in this crazy little sport we love, try and predict anything so definitively as who will win, I don't see how you can take these results from a shaky competition (as in, UCLA didn't do their best and still emerge as leaders) and call them the most talented and still not think they can win.

Does Suzanne Yoculan just not like the Bruins because they are a bunch of cocky, loudmouth upstarts in flattering leotards (the very reasons I love them so much), run by a woman who achieves the level of High Diva Yoculan could only dream of?  Or is it some olive branch waved in Rhonda Faehn's direction- to right some wrong I know not of?

Maybe she is just jealous because she no longer has a flock to shepard on the path to righteousness and psychobabble? 

I like you, Suzanne, especially now you don't have a team and can be as brutally honest about them as you are about every other team.  I like that you celebrate a victory with a beer, that your eyes have been lifted so high you have a permanent eagle-eye stare of purpose and intent.  I like that despite your hardass ways, or perhaps because of, that even though I had already kind of gone off Georgia, I miss you.  But I do not understand you.

What if Utah win?  That would be weird.



  1. Suzanne knows exactly what she's talking about. Remember how USA won prelims in 2006 with shaky routines? They were clearly the most talented team, they had mistakes and still won prelims. Alabama and Florida had major errors, too, and are only .025 and .1 behind UCLA at this point. China was way behind the USA after prelims in 2006, and they still won. Just by that competition, you can understand what Suzanne is talking about. She's not jealous, she has nothing to be jealous of, she has 10 national titles and a legacy.

    PS both Suzanne and Miss Val are insane. I don't think Miss Val is any more of a Diva than Suzanne was. Just by the shoes, Suzanne wins, for me.

  2. you know, suzanne probably is right. Marcus, why don't you write a blog? You loudly and publicly disagree with everything i write (don't get me wrong, I love it) It would make for good times!! I bet she is a bit jealous of Val. No matter how many titles her legacy holds- she still is nowehere near as awesome a diva!